A CURIOUS INVENTION

Monday, January 10, 2011

New times, new thoughts

It's time to start blogging again but not as a hobby but more like a journal. I just need to pour my thoughts out somewhere without having the guilt of burdening someone with my problems cause everyone has their own.

It's been a long time since I settled here for Uni and I even had the chance to get back home for Christmas to see my family and friends. It wasn't much of a vacation though as it was more like revision time and I couldn't help but get glued to my parents. Before I left, I didn't feel like leaving for home at all. Campus became like a home to me with my new family, my housemates. But now that I'm back, it feels like I have to struggle every single second to stay focused to not think about my family and being home. I can't skype with my parents cause they're travelling and I wouldn't want to share my anxiety with them because they are having a hard time to adjust as well. Don't want to make it anymore difficult than it already is.
Now that exams are sneaking up, the nerves have started to kick in which is normal blabla but the homesickness is worse than ever. I can't be a crybaby and moan about this to my flatmates because I'm sure they don't care. They are dealing with their own issues at the moment and no one wants hear whining.

I can't wait to get over with the exams cause after that I'll just have to make myself as busy and distracted as possible. Knowing that I won't be going home for easter and being all alone in the house almost makes me hyperventilate. I am not made to be alone but I'll just have to learn to cope with it.
Taking first step into account right now --> distraction. The perfect timing to start with my lab report!
FML.