oh, my poor lips

Stupid Sweden and its stupidness! ><
When I was in Japan, I was stupid enough to not buy the entire MAC and NARS shop because well, I'm poor xD
I was very tempted to rob it but oh well.. I was too busy shopping on sale.
Sweden does not have ANY NARS or MAC cosmetics in any stores. NONE. Wtf?
I could buy it online but it's expeeensive T_T damn shipping <(>o<)9
*sigh*

THIS:

"It is beeeee-yoooooo-teeeeee-fullllllll!" - Kandee Johnson
I couldn't agree more.

Now I've got yet another reason to get accepted at Manchester cause they have 3 whole shops!!! *-*
Soooon..

I feel depressed. I'll shop online.

Blessed

This time, last year, I was freaking out, shaking and crying and could not get an ounce of sleep for the entire month of may. It was surprising that I didn't collapse because I couldn't eat anything either except for soda that I threw up.
It was exams time. Not just any exams but THE IB exams. It's tough. It does not need to be but with the ambitious thoughts of future lingering in your mind and the expectations as well as hope that others have for you, it becomes tougher.
I couldn't show my best because of my nerves. Yesterday, I gathered the courage to do the chemistry papers I had last year to practice. I was scared and in denial as I didn't want to recall and re-experience the feelings I had back then. What if. But as I went through it, I realized that my nerves had completely shadowed and repressed what I had learned. It was a flight situation and my brain was protecting me at its best. If I had taken the time to NOT freak out, I could've without a doubt, achieved a 7 which is the highest grade. But I didn't.
Tomorrow is psychology paper 1. Students are calling me and they're completely freaked out. They can't realize how much they know but obviously, they're in a flight situation. I WISH I xould help them..cheat xD I don't care! Education should be FUN and INSPIRATIONAL and NOT a journey that makes your abilities and capabilities feel limited or worthless. Clearly the system is not working cause many students around the world are completely loosing it right now.
This made me realize that even though I'm retaking 2 subjects, I feel blessed. I have had the time to grow and gain a deeper understanding of the subjects over the year. Sure, it would've been better if I'd got the grades needed the very first time but well, I didn't. One year is a long time to "waste" but I know now that it wasn't a waste of time. It made studying for me inspiration once again and I more than just "appreciate" it.

I treasure that.

Blah

I have not abandoned my blog. Sometimes I feel like I need it to remain sane. I need to get things out without everyone knowing so I'm kinda glad that my friends don't know about my blog or just don't care xD
I have been awfully busy studying for chem and bio exams. This time things need to go right. When I practice the past papers, I always get an almost 6. I mean like 2-3 points from a 6 which is reaaally frustrating cause I NEED that 6 in both the subjects. T_T I am SO not giving in. DAMN IT THOSE 6s ARE MINE!!

Anyways, when I was in Japan, I was contacted by Sutherlands models who wanted to sign me up and I was like "ha! good one!" They found me through facebook and the person who contacted me said that they were finding ppl online now and offering them auditions and such. Sounds reasonable and I asked a whole lot of questions before "trusting" him but idk..anyways, that happened several times and yesterday the same guy who talked to me the first time really wanted me to do at least an audition. I'm thinking why is he so damn eager to get me interested?! I mean, I'm a size 8, I'm 5'8 which is tall enough but there are taller, definitely slimmer AND much model-prettier girls out there. I'm not saying I'm ugly, but I'm aware of the fact that I am not model material. I mentioned this to them but they thought I was fit.. Anyways, I talked to my parents about this and they were very supportive as well and now I'm like wtf?! Believe me, my parents are all about education and they will judo chop any other distractions. I said that I would do the audition which will btw occur via skype from Canada as the main board is located there.
I'm just SO confused. It's just an audition but this is not the first time. But then again, I wouldn't have the dedication needed to be one either because I'd never take it seriously.
I guess things will get more confusing IF they really consider signing me. Oh well. I need to prepare a portfolio by the 24th of this month o.0 ha! portfolio..

Finally!

Just watched this and LOVE ITAH!



oooooh their clotheses *-* and CL&hearts

A Walk To Remember and other stuff to remember as well ..o.0

Soooo this was hmm a couple of days ago. Last week! One week has passed already! =O Time flies by so quickly here in Tokyo T_T I only have 1 more week left *sigh*
Anyways, the story of the walk.
I was invited to a party by Hamsa's friend's host family. Apparently they still keep in touch and get together from time to time. And so, I joined them and met so many great people! Once the Japanese open up, they are so incredibly nice! It's like they make you all warm and gooey inside xD Oh! however there was this Korean ahjusshi who was hitting on me all the time and it was just painful but oh well.. Now I can I say I have that experience as well ...
Aaaaanyways, the walk. So we miss our last train which only went up to Ikebukuro and we need to get to Nishi-nippori which is 15 mins apart. So we decided to walk and ended up going in the complete opposite direction. Let's just say that when we started, we were at one corner of Tokyo and in the end, we were on completely opposite corner but hey! now I can say I have explored Tokyo by foot xD Now that's awesome!
So 4 am, we find out we had been a bit off track and decide to crash at McDs for some breakfast until the train starts to go at 5am. But we just couldn't give up now! We had walked all the way and giving in now was just wrong. So in the shitty, uber windy, cold and rainy weather, we walked from Ueno to Nishi-nippori, seeing beautiful sites that the internet would never have recommended as they are local and hence "not good enough" but those were some of the most beautiful places I have seen! And oh I totally geeked out when I passed the Social Psychology Research Centre in Ueno xD ♥
We reached home at noon and well, I slept for 4 hours.
Yesterday, we went to Yokohama (BEAUTIFUL!!), and missed the last train again woopdidoo! But this time, instead of traveling all the way to Ikebukuro, we went to Shinjuku which is supposed to be one of the main tourist attractions in Tokyo because it is known for its night-life aka host clubs. The hosts disappointed me btw. I thought they'd be all hot and shmeksy but no. Not really. (Miriam, oppas are still MUCH hotter *nod*)
The streets were basically empty T_T So we walked to Shin-Okubo (Korea Town) and slept in a restaurant because it was shitty cold outside and nothing was open! ><

China Town, Yokohama



Yes, it is what it looks like o.o




Asakusa, Tokyo